It’s harder for me to do than I let on. Death is never pretty. Or quick. But it has to be done. I can’t allow the inevitable destruction of treasured garden plants. The sadness I would feel would be longer lasting and harder to deal with than the sickness I experience as I use the shovel for the death blow.
If you’re sad, watch this. It’s a more light-hearted look at today’s theme. It lasts six minutes, fifty-three seconds.
That’s right – make light of your dastardly deed, sir. Soon we’ll hear you’ve hooked up with the mob or the Mafia (not that there really is one, of course) and are doing shovel hits for a living. Probably more money in it than Lutheran teaching, but we digress….
Beware: there are only a few vowel sounds difference between “Killed da’ waaaa-bit!” and “Killed da’ Roy – uk!” Think about it…and watch your back.
–UCLA
(the Union of Conglomerated Lagomorphs of American)
Seriously? You used a shovel? Why not your BB gun? The whole shovel – feeling the blow with your hands issue…
I think you’ll be losing a number of fans.
Believe me, I wouldn’t use the shovel if I didn’t have to. It’s only used for mercy’s sake. The BB gun isn’t lethal. The government will not allow me to use anything stronger than a BB gun in my yard, even though it’s my private property.
1. Am I looking at a grave?
2. I think you’re sadness vs. sickness rationalization would not hold up in a court of law.
3. If you kill anything here, we’re going to do what Lloyd’s grandma did – make you eat it.
4. Unless you kill Lloyd.
Do you think he’d taste like chicken? Or rabbit?
1. Yes.
2. All I have to do is get a jury trial. In Baltimore City, I’d never be convicted.
3. Will you cook whatever I kill?
4. Lloyd cannot be killed. I’ve already tried. A lot.
FYI: I’ve relocated to Baltimore City last week.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P5kPJptwGa0
Bye Peter … though you walk thru the valley of the shadow of death …
So, do we need to start calling you Dexter or Ted Bundy?
It’s nice you’re giving him a choice…
I figure it’s the least I could do, since he didn’t give the bunny a choice.
Well, maybe we should call him Ed Gein. Then he could start making lampshades out of his victims.
I had to look Ed Gein up.
If you guys are going to name me after someone, I think it would be more appropriate to use the name of a reluctant vigilante… someone who must take things into their own hands, even though they are a gentle, loving spirit. How about Charles Bronson?
yeah right.
Ok, how does Congo Bill (Congo Brad?) suit you? But you must wear the outfit while doing the deed. Or how about his counterpart—Congorilla?
How about going by “Bernie Goetz” – the Subway Vigilante of Dec., 1984, who shot four young men allegedly for trying to attack and rob him on a NYC subway train (hence, the nickname). He used neither a shovel nor a BB gun but was apparently quite successful in his attempt and actually quite popular with the common folk there for a while.
Say…if you wore glasses… !! Check it out:
http://www.cnn.com/US/9604/08/subway.gunner
(Sorry – this does not seem to be a live link because I use plain text rather than html on my end, but you’re resourceful…)
Apparently, Bernie wore white shirts a lot, too. Hmmmmmmm…
reluctant?
really?
Here Brad, this is for you….
Enjoy!
Does that mean it’s for Brad only and the rest of us shouldn’t click on it because it’s some nasty prank (ala Peggy)? Because I can hardly contain myself from clicking…
No nasty Peggy prank. I promise. This morning Arron and I were talking about the poor bunny and he reminded me of something. He doens’t know a thing about Peggy’s sneaky ways.
That is HYSTERICAL Karla!!! I clicked it right away … I fear no pranks, I welcome them!
So are you saying I should be called Maxwell?
Yes, and maybe at our class reunion someone will present you with a silver hammer to carry out your dasterdly deeds.
Indeed, that didn’t take very long at all!
http://lloydandlauren.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/peggy-1.jpg