I went to the grocery store yesterday, and decided to walk down the “frozen foods” aisle. I was surprised to see that I could buy big soft pretzels! The box looked just like the logo of the big pretzels I used to get for choir fundraiser lunches back at my school in Baltimore. I had to get some! And for the cheese? I got Velveeta. I could melt it into cheese sauce. Mmm…
I also got a bundle of asparagus. I love salty buttery asparagus!
The asparagus didn’t disappoint, but the pretzel… did. It was soft and wrinkly, like a freshly baked bready pretzel. Yuck. I wanted it to be hard and dense, and not bread-like at all. And Velveeta for cheese sauce? Way too intense of a flavor. It was so… buttery… I want the pretzel to be kind of like carboard, and the cheese sauce to be hydrogenated oil with a little flavoring. Is that too much to ask?
NOTE: The site is having some technical difficulties. I did an update, and now the pictures look wonky, and comments aren’t visible. I’ve contacted my tech guy. Thanks, Lloyd! 🙂
Ha! I laughed out loud at the end! I think you have your new restaurant idea, if not the menu descriptions…
Frito Lay mild cheddar cheese sauce. In a can. In the aisle with chips. That’s what you’re looking for…
So what I hear you saying is you want your food to be more fake and less real? Then I’d go with soggy canned asparagus while you’re at it.
Sorry – could have told you about the pretzel – and that’s why I like soft pretzels.
(Was the kind you got here a Joe Corbi’s buy? Not available in Hawaii?)