Yesterday at school I was finally getting some work done, when Michele came into my room. She had kind of a strange grin on her face as she handed me a yellow sheet of paper. “I got this at church. I thought you would like it,” she said. I looked down at the paper in my hands. The title said: My Burial Instructions. I got a sick feeling in my stomach. Was she threatening me?
I thought back over the last seven days or so… I haven’t seen Michele as much lately. What’s going on? Is she trying to distance herself from me before she strikes the death blow? Perhaps her family has an ancient vendetta against mine. Did the Hummels ever feud with the Waldhausers back in the Fatherland? Or perhaps it’s not that at all. Perhaps she’s a member of the Japanese Illuminati. She did seem a little edgy when we went to Kobe. Was she secretly communicating with our chef? Whatever the case, it seems that Michele now wants me dead.
So now besides being vigilant whenever I’m near Kobe Steakhouse, it seems I must watch my back at school. Thank goodness for that training I received in Amsterdam. Keeping my Dutch schaduw-vechter(shadow-fighter) skills sharp will have been worth it.
I’m on to you, Michele. I’m on to you.
You shouldn’t make me laugh when I’m trying to keep breakfast down. Shadow-fighting skills, indeed.
How come we Lutherans don’t have a procession of lights and torches to the place of burial? I want that, too – big, drippy pitchy torches lighting the way!! Everyone holds one!
Are you writing your burial instructions based on the kings’ burial practices? Wow — you must be royalty. Beth would be next in line to be queen, I think.
Ehx – cehll – ehnt!
I agree. I want to be buried in the same manner as Elvis.
He’s dead??
Is that why you don’t cut your hair?
I have the hymns chosen for my funeral.
I keep the list in my Bible in the event that I die young (which would come as quite a surprise to me, because I intend to live to be 106).
Wow, you’ve got new paranoia everyday. I thought she may have brought you the instructions to prepare for your eventual death from the itchy spot. Michele you’ve got some mind-entrapment power skills! You rock!
… “internment of the remains” …
Only remains? Oh this is gonna be bad …