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Month: December 2008 (Page 3 of 7)

Come Mister Tally Man, Tally Me Bananas

The mission trip group at school sold fruit baskets this year. I knew they would be good because we have a school family who runs a fruit distribution center. They supply grocery stores, etc. Anyway, I wanted to get something because it would be so good, and when I read the description of the giant tropical basket, I had to have it. Included in the basket were one “hand” of red bananas, and one “hand” of Manazano bananas. I really wanted to try these. As far as I can remember, the only bananas I’ve had are Cavendish, so I was anxious to taste these new ones.

The basket came on Friday. I immediately opened it, and discovered that none of the fruit was ripe yet. They packed it just shy of ripe so I would have time to eat it I guess. Well, I don’t have time to eat it. I fly to Nebraska today. I did go on the SS TSA website and they did say I could carry-on fruit in the peel, but that’s no guarantee some agent won’t just take them. Dang.

I’ll try anyway. I really want to taste them. Plus, the vitamins might help me get over the terrible cold I seem to have developed just in time for Christmas vacation.

Maybe the bananas will distract me from the suffocating fear.

So tiny... so unripe...

Max Attacks

Max is always frisky in the morning. I don’t know if it’s that he’s been sleeping all night, so he feels energized, or that he’s glad to see me awake because all I’ve been doing for hours is lying in bed, or maybe it’s something else. His heat lamp is right next to the computer, so that’s where it all starts. He used to bite the electrical cords next to his bed. I blocked that, so now he just bites the heat lamp hood.

As the morning progresses, he gets more aggressive. Right before I step into the shower, he’s developed the habit of biting my ankles. After my shower, he races down the hallway in front of me and runs into my bedroom where he attacks every piece of clothing before I put it on. As I try to go downstairs, he’ll go ahead of me, then stop. It’s like he wants to make me fall down the stairs. Is he trying to kill me?

You can almost see his extra nipple.

Hello.  My name is Inigo Montoya.  You killed my father... prepare to die.

I Name It

Happy Birthday, Lloyd! On this day in 1843, Charles Dickens’ Yuletide tale, “A Christmas Carol,” was first published in England

I have developed a rather large zit on my cheek. It looks like an old-fashioned stress zit. I used to name them for the things that made them appear… Term Paper, Final Exam, Senior Recital. If I had to name this one, I might just call it Last Two Weeks Before Christmas Break. It is large enough to be unmistakable, but it’s not ready for any kind of procedure.

I don’t know why I seem to be extra stressed this year. I have some pretty severe back pain right now that I think is from stress. Beth just made an appointment with a Seward massage person for me. I’m really looking forward to that.

In the meantime, perhaps I’ll just need to pig out on all the Christmas candy the kids are giving me, and watch some Rudolph on TV. Today is the last day of school before break! Woo hoo!

Look away... I'm hideous.

The Gift of Fatness

Happy Birthday, Mom! You share a birthdate with Keith Richards, Brad Pitt, and Katie Holmes.

My students have been bringing me Christmas gifts. While not expected, it is very nice to receive them. I was especially excited to get a bottle of honey from a girl whose family keeps bees. I am very interested in taking a beekeeping class this spring. They happen in March, so I have to remember in February to register. If you see me in February, ask me if I’ve registered for beekeeping class.

Many of the gifts coming in are food. I love sweet treats, but I’m only one person. Some of the packages are HUGE. That doesn’t stop me from trying to eat them though. During this week of standardized exams, my only job has been to read instructions and then go sit at my desk for 5, 7, 12, 20, 40, or 50 minutes. It’s a nice life. Except while I’m sitting there, the sweets call to me. Yesterday I ate almost a whole box of homemade chocolates. Carl gave them to me. Sheesh, Carl’s mom, are you trying to kill me? Mmmm… so good…

I saved the coconut for last, but ran out of time to eat it.

Blast from the Past

Happy Birthday, Lauren! Yay!

Yesterday some of us gathered at Martha’s house for a Christmas party. Martha is a co-worker from last year that we’ve stayed in contact with. The party was really fun. The food was awesome and the conversation was great.

Martha’s husband Paul has been experimenting a lot with a scroll saw. He isn’t just using patterns – he’s inventing stuff. His latest things were a nativity set that is cut from one piece of wood and can be reassembled like a puzzle, and a candle holder that contains shapes from the nativity but folds flat because it’s cut from one piece of wood. It’s all very cool.

At one point we went to the basement because it was decorated for Christmas and Martha wanted to show us. We sat and talked for a while and I tried not to fall asleep. I was sleepy because my belly was full. When we decided to go back upstairs again, I noticed a blanket that looked terribly familiar. I think Beth had one like it in a location that had me seeing it frequently, because when I saw it I thought of her.

Should this be called a baa-lanket?  Hehe...

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