One of the many ways the government steals money from the people here in Maryland is that every two years we have to get the gaseous emissions of our vehicles tested. The lack of need to do it was proved to me yesterday:
I left school pretty quickly so I could get to the place early in the afternoon. I thought I was doing well. It was 4pm when I arrived. But the line was crazy long. Fortunately, I had a book with me. I alternately read and fought off sleep as I slowly inched forward.
The usual procedure is to put a tube on your tailpipe and run your car on some rollers in the floor. Then the attendant can get your car up to a virtual 40 miles per hour or something like that. They follow a computer display to make your engine rev faster and slower.
But yesterday they didn’t do that. I watched as they sent car after car through and just gave them a piece of paper that said they passed. It’s what they did to me. In all the test result spaces on the paper it simply said “N/A”. I wish I could just have said that when they asked me to pay the $14 fee.
On the check, just sign N/A. I like it.
Good thing you’ve got your blood-remover story handy. Your state is full of crazy people.
Do you have to go to a special place for that? When we were in Maryland you could just take it to a regular mechanic. That way the mechanic could tell you there was something wrong and charge you one billion dollars to “fix” it.
You’re thinking of an inspection. That must be done whenever you’re licensing the car, and can be done by any mechanic who is certified for it. It costs around $100. That’s on top of the taxes and registration fees of the car.
An emmission test is done at a special, state-run facility and it’s done every two years. It costs $14 and two hours of your life.
What they have in common is that they’re both similar to a prostate exam.
Yet ANOTHER reason to vote Libertarian!
Amen, brother(s)!
hehe, he really is your brother (I’m easily amused (I also easily am used)).
We have to do inspection and emission every year. That’s about $40 for both. I think that money goes into a certain “church’s” treasury.
I bet you scared the people taking this picture, what with you looking all official in your shirt & tie. I bet they thought you worked for the government…who else would take such a picture?
I think they do that to cows here. Yes, I’m pretty sure they were tested this morning.
Where do bovine keep their $14 cash – “only cash, please” – pray tell?
They hyde it!
HA! No lion?!
So does everybody have their car running while they’re waiting in line? If you just didn’t have to do that at all, that would cut emissions drastically.
So would mailing in the money from home and never having to go at all! I also always find this an ironic situation. I should think local stand-up routines are rife with material from these scenes.
Brad, I thank you for sharing your story – as the same thing has been happening to me the last two times I went for that test. I thought it was because they didn’t want to deal with front-wheel drive cars or something (“No dynomometer!”). Now it seems pretty evident they just want to send a larger number of folks through in less time (though that never seems true when you are in the lines, does it?) to reap a larger amount per hour to send to our wonderful government department of … where does this go again? Anyway, it certainly can’t possibly about improving the condition of the air we breathe. “Maryland, cancer capital of our nation.”
Hey! I saw a dynomometer on Ace of Cakes! When are you guys going to send me a picture of Brad standing in front of there?
You’d like a photo of Brad standing in front of a dynamometer?!?!