After a day of parent-teacher conferences yesterday, I left school in a rush. I hadn’t gotten Halloween candy yet and it was already 6pm. I had to stop twice on the way home to find what I was looking for. I get the same candy every year: tiny boxes of Nerds. I get hard candy because I give it out to strangers and I think hard candy looks less-tamperable, so they can feel at ease to eat it. I also got some Air Heads taffy because I wanted to have two varieties to give out.

When I got home, I quickly replaced the burnt-out porch light bulbs. Then I hung the giant spider and strung some fake spiderweb strands. I was trying to advertise my house as a stop. I got some carry-out Thai food and settled in front of the TV and waited… and waited… and waited.

No kids.

I was disciplined and didn’t eat from the candy bowl. Instead, I ate a whole sleeve of Girl Scout Thin Mints. I didn’t feel very good when I went to sleep. I didn’t get to hand out any candy, and I had a big wad of cookies in my gut. It was a pretty lame Halloween.

Empty cookie wrapper... Full candy bowl.

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6 Responses to Halloweak

  1. Lauren says:

    You’re not really sad, are you? You have a whole giant bowl of candy to eat! Mmmmmmm…… Nerds…..

  2. Lloyd says:

    I was going to post, “Four thin mints and you didn’t sleep well?” Thinking maybe I could parley my previous joke about the number of Girl Scout Cookies® in a a package into a new joke franchise, but I decided that it wouldn’t be that funny.

  3. Beth says:

    Maybe next year you should come to Nebraska. Halloween is never lame here. Even in a bilzzard.

  4. Peggy says:

    Sorry no ghouls, ghosts, or gobblins stopped by to see you last night…do you suppose you’ve gotten a bum reputation by all the kids in the neighborhood? Are you Hamilton Hills’ Boo Radley? Boo Bradley? Not that there’s anything wrong with that….

  5. Carol says:

    No kids on our block either…until 9 p.m., when the porch light had been turned out and we were already in our jams and under the covers. Needless to add we did not get up to go to the door (thank you, Tucker, for the discouraging barking that sent them away in short order!) Needless to add, too, there is a glass pumpkin full of candy at our house as well. Wanna swap on Monday?

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