I noticed something about the current roll of toilet paper in my bathroom: It spins effortlessly. I often will have to repeatedly push at toilet paper rolls to get them to spin, but this roll only takes one push. What is the difference? I think it’s the cardboard tube. It’s perfectly round. It spins as smooth as butter.
How do the tubes get all smashed all the time? Is it something the toilet paper company does? Do the grocery stores do it? Is it accidental, or is it part of some nefarious plot? Perhaps this requires an Investigation. Who stands to gain from squished toilet paper rolls? Is it the Swedes? The Bolivians?
I had a
cheapfrugal book that said to step on a roll of toilet paper so it wouldn’t roll right. People would be less likely to take so much if it rolled funny. So yes, I’m going with insidious plot.I don’t generally like to practice floccinaucinihilipipification, but in this case the TP industry must be held accountable!
Didn’t we talk about marketing the RollRight®? A simple toilet paper roll tube holder thingy (note to self: have marketing find out what those things are called) that twists to expand to the size of a toilet paper cardboard tube and changes it from whatever inexplicable shape it happens to be in at the time to a perfectly round cylinder.
I’m pretty sure Lauren would buy several of these if they were seen on TV. But I don’t know what else she would get for the “but wait, there’s more.”
I hope it would come with a Magic Bullet.
I love my magic bullet!
When you mentioned “as seen on TV” it reminded me that I saw a new commercial last night with Bill Mays. I died laughing when they get to testing the flag.
https://www.mightymendit.com/flare/next?tag=mmedseaa400
That. Is. Awesome. Anything where they’ll triple your order has to be a good deal. Right? RIGHT???
Wow! And just today I was thinking that I needed to repair my parachute…
Nobody’s commented on the graceful swirly pattern on the tissues themselves yet?! Why, sir, I believe we Freys purchase the same quality brand of bathroom tissue – do that mean we’s related er somethin’?
Schedule 40 to the rescue:
http://www.instructables.com/id/Toilet-Paper-Core-Protector-and-EZ-Roller/
(Step 1)