I have a package of Oreos at my house right now. I’ve found a way to keep from eating the whole package at once: I take out a few cookies and leave the package in the kitchen. Since I’ve already established that laziness always wins, I know I can pit my laziness against my gluttony.
But oh, how I love Oreos. I like to pull them apart and eat the stuff in the middle first. Sometimes I have to scrape the stuff off the cookies with my teeth, but sometimes the stuff comes off by itself. Last night I had a magical moment: I was able to pull the stuff completely free from the cookie. I was able to eat just the stuff.
…and, of course, you know the secret ingredient in Oreo filling for many years, don’t you? That’s right: LARD! Artery-hardeningly delicious animal fat. Yum, Yum. I don’t think that’s on their label any longer, so either they’ve elected to leave it out these days (can’t imagine why!) or they are disguising it with its original chemical names (e.g., stearin, olein, palmitin, etc.). And, by the way, why are there black hunks in your “stuff”? I’d like to think that’s just chocolate cookie, but…
Lard – much better than processed and re-processed Crisco. Eat on, I say.
I laughed OUT LOUD at the ‘laziness vs. gluttony’ paragraph, then read it out loud to Lloyd as he came downstairs. That is funny stuff.
Then I shuddered at the next part. As a kid I’m sure I scraped off the middles, but now I would rather just eat the cookie part.
At snack I have preschoolers who joyfully open their cookies, eat just the frosting, then ask for more cookies. When I point out the pile of cookie husks in front of them, they look at me in bewilderment.
Cookie “husks” – like they grow naturally on stalks in a big field in Nebraska – HA! (………I mean, they don’t, do they?? ‘Cuz if they did, and you had a patch, say, in your own backyard, everyone would want to be your best friend, Lauren….dear…)
Oh my gosh…you’re a cookie wizard! I must try doing that.
When I eat an oreo I take off one cookie half & give it to the dog. Then I eat the opened faced side, middle side down. Sometimes I scrap off the middle with my teeth & then eat the cookie. Afterall, it wouldn’t be right to give both cookie halves to the dog.
Have you ever tried the Double Stuffed?
I do that same thing. I’ll only take half a package into the living room. That way I get some exercise when I go back for the other half.