I got a letter in the mail yesterday from my doctor. I thought it was a paper version of my gall bladder ultrasound, but it was my blood test results. I couldn’t believe what I saw. My cholesterol numbers were all down. Woo hoo! I rock!
BEFORE (September 23, 2008)
AFTER
I received my ultrasound results on the phone yesterday. The technician must’ve said “Your gall bladder is okay!”, because everything is fine. I have a cyst on one of my kidneys, but apparently it’s not unusual.
I’m not indestructible though. Yesterday I thought I had allergies. Today I feel all feverish and flu-ridden. Dang. Maybe my increased good cholesterol can take out the viruses in my system. Get ’em, good cholesterol!
Woo-hoo! Way to go! Do you feel like you have a superpower, knowing that you can change your blood at will? PZANG! (That’s your blood-changing sound effect.)
Do you know what happened to your bad cholesterol? Is cholesterol conserved? Does this mean someone else has higher cholesterol now? Maybe it’s someone you love. You’re probably killing someone you love. You are so selfish. Bless your heart.
…or maybe I’m giving it to someone I don’t love.
According to the Law of Conservation of Energy and Fat Globules, fat can surely be created but can never destroyed, dnag it! It just moves – often from other people, I believe – to my hips and buttocks.
(This is all scientifically documented, too!)
That’s truly wonderful. You rock!
Hooray for you!! Well done! Even your urine has improved!
Are you secretly this guy?
http://cache.gettyimages.com/xc/51256116.jpg?v=1&c=ViewImages&k=2&d=444ED34A869CB97062615C3ADFD10731284831B75F48EF45
(I’d wish I could post a youtube clip of him…you…I long to hear that cool music when he’s running)
How do we know that “normal” is an improvement (for urine) over “okay”, Peggy? Maybe they’re really synonymous?! Or, perhaps, “okay” urine is somehow better than normal urine!
Regardless, I stand in awe*of your test scores. Do they publish Cliff Notes for this?
* …which is always better than sitting in—-.
PS Oops, do the young commenters of bradaptationland know who that guy is? I LOVED that show!!
Are you kidding me?? My brothers had the Steve Austin doll, complete with skin on his arm and leg that rolled up to take out the computer components, and a head where you could look through his bionic eye!
How come those two numbers don’t add up to the total? Is there some secret Evil Cholesterol number that they don’t show? Yours went from 21 to 12. Is that a good thing?